Heather's Story

Mike and I were married January 24, 1986 and we got pregnant right away. We went through the usual emotions. We were scared, doubtful, and full of joy. It was such a new and exciting time in our lives. We were adjusting to being married and now a new baby was coming. We had no clue there were any problems. My doctor kept changing my due date. I had undiagnosed pre-eclampsia more commonly called toxemia. An ultrasound done on December 1, 1986 revealed that our precious child had died. My labor was induced early on the morning of December 3, 1986. Heather Michelle Myers was born at 7:27 p.m., weighing 10-lbs. 13-½ oz. And 22” long. She had beautiful long dark hair and looked just like her daddy. The autopsy revealed she was 42+ weeks gestation and probably died due to post-maturity (being too far overdue).

The first year following Heather’s death was a blur for me. Around 85% of all marriages that suffer the death of a child end in divorce. I know we had a rough time for awhile. I couldn’t seem to let go of my grief and Mike buried his. We finally realized that men and women grieve differently. We began to talk and help each other out of the black hole we had fallen into. We survived some pretty bleak odds with our marriage and our love intact. Surviving your child’s death makes you stronger. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in October 1987. I felt much better within a month of treatment and within three months I was pregnant again. We have gone on to have two successful subsequent pregnancies. We feel very blessed to have two healthy children.

The intensity of the pain has lessened over the years. However, you never get over the death of your child. Heather was a part of us and a part of each of us died with her. You learn to go on with your life and to live it the best that you can, but your life is different and takes on new meaning. We will never be the same. We have survived the single worst tragedy that can happen in anyone’s life. We had to. If you have experienced the death of a child our sympathies are with you. Please feel free to e-mail us if you would like to talk with someone who has been where you are now.